The Experience
The idea of writing this book began because of my frustration about finding very few Canadian resources at the time we began our adoption journey. That was 1998. Ten years later, there are still none in the form that Labours of Love has taken. I came to realize that the publishing industry believes the market for such a book, is very narrow; that few people would have an interest. Prior to that disappointing realization however, I had already attended a course on how to create a non-fiction book proposal, created that proposal; and set about locating eager Canadian families to share their stories. I was at the point of no return.
I applied
that same blind faith and perseverance towards the book, as I had with
the adoption of our daughter Diana.
Through connecting with agencies, word of mouth, a notice in Today’s Parent Magazine and other networking efforts, I managed to find families from as many parts of Canada as I could muster. The majority of these families stayed the course with me for the next three years until I was able to find a publisher. To overcome that hurdle was incredible, but even more incredible, was the opportunity to finally meet and interview the families, whose words make Labours of Love what I hoped it would be.
It was a wonderful adventure, to fly, drive, seaplane and climb a mountain, to share a small part of these families’ lives. Besides being in the company of extraordinary people, I was reminded of the true majesty of this country, and the privilege I feel to be Canadian. We are indeed fortunate.
An unexpected bonus during this time was the people I met along the way, from whom I have learned so much – about adoption, about diversity, about compassion. Every person I encountered, upon hearing of the project, was enthusiastic, interested and anxious to share their experiences of adoption. These encounters encouraged me to keep going with renewed energy during moments of uncertainty. I have also learned with more conviction than ever, that there really are no accidents in life; no coincidences. Things happen as they are meant to; people enter our lives to support our purpose and to enrich the experience. Many of the people instrumental in creating this book aside from the contributors, have been profoundly touched by adoption themselves. Their involvement has also enhanced Labours of Love.
From here, my hope is that this book will inspire, inform, and shine a light on adoption in Canada, where there is darkness. There is much that can be done still, to find children in care the permanent families they so deserve, and it is up to us to help make it happen.
The Families
The families in Labours of Love are all unique and amazing. They have left an indelible impression on my heart. When you get to know them, you will understand why. Here are just a few excerpts.
The Professionals
During
my research for Labours of Love, I interviewed
nine adoption professionals, seven of whom appear in the book. They
all share a profound sense of compassion for children and families
with the endurance to remain committed to a profession that is exhausting
beyond description. The emotional rewards of finding the right families
for children and helping them succeed in the future, is what keeps
them going.
Sandra Scarth – President, Adoption Council of Canada
“A lot of provinces have post-adoption services, but in some provinces they are quite minimal and again underfunded. They may not be adequate for foster parents who wish to adopt but who worry about the loss of the supports they need to help them raise the children. The other thing we need to work on is mental health services that are appropriate for adoptive families, that don’t blame the parents for the challenges the children present but help them to understand and manage the issues better.
Michael Grand – Psychologist and Professor, University of Guelph
“I believe the easiest way to understand adoption is to understand paradox. Whatever you think it is, it’s usually the opposite. The more adoptive parents try to push away birth family, the more birth family will have a prominent place in the mind of the adoptee. The more adoptive parents respect the child’s origins, the less birth family will fill a threatening emotional space in the life of the adoptive parents. The more adoptive parents can embrace that understanding, the closer will the child come to them. If you block out that reality, the more they push the child away. That is a great paradox.”
The Photographers
Twelve photographers from across Canada joined me in profiling the families in Labours of Love. We all know the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words.” How much have their photographs spoken volumes? You be the judge…
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Adoption
Council of Canada
Tel: (613) 235-0344
www.adoption.ca
Adoption
Council of Ontario
Tel: (416) 482-0021
aco@adoption.ca
Family Helper
Robin Hilborn, Editor
Southampton
helper@familyhelper.net
Childrens Action Network
www.childrensactionnetwork.org
North American
Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC)
Joe Kroll, Executive Director
www.nacac.org
Canada’s
Waiting Kids
Tel: 1-888-542-3678 (toll-free)
www.canadaswaitingkids.ca
AdoptOntario
www.adoptontario.ca
Dave Thomas
Foundation for Adoption
www.davethomasfoundation.ca
Parentbooks
Tel: (416) 537-9499
www.parentbooks.ca
201 Harbord Street
Toronto ON, Canada
M5S 1H6
Canada Adopts!
Inc.
550 Eglinton Ave West, Suite 23052,
Toronto, ON, M5N 3A8
www.canadaadopts.com
Brenda McCreight,
PH.D., R.S.W.
Therapist, International Speaker & Author
www.theadoptioncounselor.com
Brenda
McCreight's Blog
Spark ::: ignite their potential - www.ignitethespark.ca
The Wilsons - thewilsonsofficial.com/index.htm